Choosing a positive perspective

Now I don’t like to say ‘I told you so’. 

(Actually that opening statement is not in the slightest bit true – I LOVE saying ‘I told you so’ with all its feelings of smugness and superiority (LOL!) but that’s a whole other post).

Anyway this post is an ‘I told you so’ but it’s a good one that I hope you’ll appreciate. 

Back in early November last year I wrote about my Dad’s incurable cancer diagnosis and my conscious choice to not allow negative thoughts & fears to take over. Instead I chose to look for the positives, focus on the current situation, and as much as possible imagine lots of lovely things happening. So here we are 4 months down the line and how has it been? 

Well Dad has had very little ill effects from the chemo treatment, mainly just an impact on sleep and some weight gain from the steroids. And nothing else at all – no sickness, no loss of appetite, no hair loss etc. His markers for the cancer are doing exactly what they’re supposed to do, with the treatment, and going down – a marvellous decrease so far from 34 to 12 thingies. Whoop Whoop indeed. 

We also all had a lovely Christmas together in a hotel, together with my brother and family, that wouldn’t have happened without the diagnosis. My kids declared it the best Christmas ever and I have a wonderful memory of Dad singing his heart out at the carols round the campfire with a mulled wine in hand! 

During the time of the diagnosis, and in the months since, Dad has also felt very loved and cared for by friends and family alike. Many, many people have told him how much he means to them – what an amazing gift to receive while anyone is still alive. 

In the meantime Dad has continued to do everything that he loves to do: singing, golf, chatting, more singing, walking, eating, socialising, more eating etc. And today he’s heading off for a week’s golf in Portugal with my brother and two friends – a trip that also wouldn’t have happened without the diagnosis. 

And my life has bumbled along on it’s own merry path. 

But imagine if I hadn’t been able to choose that positive perspective back in October? Instead I may have spent the last 4 months feeling sad / worried / fearful / anxious / teary etc. And what a total waste of 4 months of life that would have been. It wouldn’t have changed any actual physical outcome but it would have just sucked an awful lot of enjoyment out of our lives. Literally a total waste of emotional energy. And it would have impacted my own immediate family too. 

It is so easy for any of us to get stuck in swirling negative thoughts and we have to be very conscious and try very hard to choose a more helpful way of viewing a situation. And to try to be in the moment with what’s going on right now. Not a million miles ahead in our heads imagining disastrous scenarios that probably won’t ever happen. 

So that’s my ‘I told you so’ and I hope you don’t mind my moment of giving myself a little smug pat on the back. Maybe it will help someone to notice where they could be sucking the joy out of life, purely by their thoughts. Please like / share as we never know who might be helped by reading this today. Thanks gang. Sue X. PS Original post was here: https://www.facebook.com/thecouplescoach/posts/1779259732372935

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