If I had a wish it would be that every couple had Couples Coaching .. and not because it would be good for business! Couples Coaching can make a huge difference to how much we enjoy our closet relationships and, in turn, that has a big impact on our individual happiness.
It’s very normal for couples to have arguments, get cross, be upset etc. We are fed the movie myth of ‘happy ever after’ but life gets in the way and any stress we are experiencing will generally have an impact on the relationship.
Also you are two Human beings with your own values, beliefs and life experiences, which in turn impact on how you react to one another. How often have you thought ‘What on Earth is he/she making such a fuss about, it really doesn’t matter?’. It may not be important to you but it is important to your partner and when you ignore such aspects it can cause a rift.
It’s also very easy for couples to get into unhelpful patterns of communication or behaviour. We can easily start to feel hurt and so deal with that hurt by withdrawing (or attacking) which in turn leads to a loss of connection .. and so the spiral continues.
But a couple doesn’t have to be experiencing difficulties to benefit from coaching. I often coach couples who would describe their relationship as ‘fine’ or ‘normal’ or ‘ok’ but they know it’s missing something and could be better. Coaching allows them to explore how to make their relationship more connected, more loving, more supportive etc. If you know you’re in it for the long term, why not make it as good as it possibly can be?
Couples coaching helps in several ways:
- It can show up what’s really going on in the relationship - that argument about the dishwasher is rarely about the dishes.
- Once we have surfaced what needs work then coaching can help you to find better ways of dealing with any issues.
- There is an element of education regarding communication skills & other aspects of relationships.
- Coaching helps individuals talk about what’s coming up for them, what they are struggling with etc in a safe environment.
- Crucially coaching also helps couples to hear what one another is actually saying, rather than what they think their partner is saying.
- Coaching helps couples to find alignment on difficult issues.
- It also helps you to recognise what differences will never be ‘solved’ and hence find better ways of dealing with those repeating arguments.
- Coaching often means that couples start spending more quality time together, enjoying one another’s company again and building a great fulfilling relationship.
- Etc etc
I offer every couple a free sample session to see what it’s all about, ascertain whether we are a good fit and if I think I can help you. Often couples report an improvement after just the free sample session.
Fees for Couples Coaching
After the free sample session, mentioned above, the ongoing fee is £100 per session and sessions are typically an hour, or just over. I don’t recommend a set number of sessions as every relationship is different and has different needs. We just work out what’s needed as we go along.
Some couples have 6 sessions about a specific issue or to get back on track and then they are done. Others, after an initial batch, prefer to have regular maintenance sessions to nip any issues in the bud before they become a real problem. Either approach is totally fine.
I generally work Mon-Fri between approx 11am - 4pm, depending on the day. Clients often book sessions when one or both are working from home.
I coach either over the phone, via Skype / FaceTime or face to face (I’m based in Rowledge, near Farnham on the Surrey / Hampshire border). All methods are equally effective.