This post might seem like it’s directed at women only but actually it’s equally important for the fellas who have women or daughters in their lives. A discussion about International Women’s Day yesterday reminded me of the all too common trait that women have of putting themselves down, thinking they’re not good enough etc. The negative self-talk that I hear so often from my female clients is truly dreadful. And it’s going on pretty constantly. And they are often not even aware of what they are saying to themselves. Imagine for a moment if someone else was constantly critical of you, finger pointing and saying things like: Oh you handled that badly. Wow she’s so glamorous, unlike you. You always look a mess. You don’t look after your children properly. You’re lazy. You’re a bit slow on the uptake. You’re not as persuasive as that guy. Everyone listens when he / she starts talking and ignores you. Your memory is rubbish. You have fat thighs. Ugh, so wrinkly! What exactly are you contributing here? ….. And so I could go on for ages, I’ve heard far worse when asking clients what’s going on in their heads. If this sounds like you I am going to ask you, beg you in fact, to please stop. You are harming yourself with constant poisonous barbs and it affects how you are with the people around you. You are a fabulous Human Being, born for a very good reason and people love you just as you are. Your friends and family don’t need you to be someone different, but they would love you to love yourself more. It can help to start noticing what you are saying to yourself – catch the thoughts and turn them into something more positive. And for the fellas out there, be aware that this is often the default for your partners, female workmates etc. Be nice, firstly to yourself. Pls Like /Share. Sue X

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