You may have noticed a lack of planning in my topics or frequency of posting …. and you’d be right, there is none! I just wait to see what theme arises from what’s going on with any combination of me / friends / family / clients etc. This week’s theme was jumping out at me all over the place and it’s BOUNDARIES. And specifically the importance of not changing our behaviours in order to please other people. It is incredibly easy to fall into a pattern of not being true to ourselves because of fear of consequence from another. I’ll give the example of my lovely 8 year old daughter this week.
I discovered, after following my intuition and refusing to let the matter rest, that she’d been allowing a ‘friend’ to dictate who she played with and what games. If she didn’t go along with it then the ‘friend’ would be angry and mean to her. If she did comply there would be friendliness and gifts. All this at the age of 8 has been understandably confusing and upsetting. And this is exactly how a lifetime pattern of people pleasing can start, so easily and so young.
Fingers crossed I’ve nipped it in the bud & she has now learnt how important it is to listen to your own heart, tummy and mind – not be a puppet to someone else’s whim. Oh and that her Mum is bloomin’ awesome ????????
However I also see it in couples often, where the balance has slowly shifted over time until 1 partner is constantly trying to please and avoid criticism. It’s a horrible pattern for both and it doesn’t bring a loving, mutually respectful atmosphere. The more demanding partner is often equally unaware of what he/she is doing.
Hence my ponder for you this weekend is to look at where your boundaries may need reinforcement? It could be with a partner, a friend, extended family, work etc. Perhaps you have drifted into an unhealthy pattern & you often come away feeling bad or picked on. In adulthood we don’t necessarily have a Mummy Lion ready to roar on our behalf – we have to do the tough part ourselves. Be strong, have self-respect and you will BOTH benefit in the long term. Pls Like / Share. Sue X