First blog post of 2018, whoop whoop. Did we all survive the festive season?
Sadly January is a peak time for people initiating divorces which just highlights how Christmas can put a real strain on relationships. I won’t dwell on that today but just to say try to avoid knee-jerk reactions. Instead wait a few weeks and see how you feel once normal life has resumed. Or take positive action such as perhaps trying to talk to your partner, read books for tips on relationships, get some marital counselling or couples coaching for you both etc. Even if you had a really tough Christmas it might just be a sign that your relationship needs some TLC from both of you or some external help, not that it’s necessarily doomed. Enough on that for now but I wanted to acknowledge that Christmas can stir things up for a lot of couples.
Meanwhile this time of year can also be one of reflecting on our lives and on the year that just passed. I do feel it’s important to have a good look at 2017 and think about what was great about it for you. What are you grateful for? Where did you have fun? And who was it with? (Make a note to do more with those people this year). What was your greatest achievement? What are you most disappointed about? What did you love about 2017? What was hard? What would you like to be different? And what would you like more of? How did you show up?
It’s easy to rush on into the new year but actually a bit of extra time really reviewing last year can pay dividends. By looking at what worked or didn’t work, we can have more helpful intentions of where to focus this year. If you had a crappy year then what needs to change? What actions, however small, can you take? What would it take to make this a great year? You can set some intentions based on this. For example ‘This year I will make more effort to spend time with XX’ or ‘This year I want to take up a new hobby’ or ‘This year I will get a better work life balance’ etc.
While I like an intention, I’m not such a fan of New Year’s resolutions as such. After all any day of the year can be a day when someone decides to take a stand and make changes. It’s what people do in coaching all the time. But there is something about January that can help people have an extra bit of oomph in their actions.
Personally I like to set a few short term goals in January, just to get the year off on the right foot. These are typically health related and this year I’m aiming for my usual annual detox of super healthy food & no booze. It always feels that this redresses the balance after the Christmas excesses. I’ve added to it this year with a plan to do at least 20 mins, ideally 30 mins, of exercise every day for 3 weeks. This doesn’t include walking unless it’s hardcore out of breath power-walking. 5/5 days so far and I’m feeling good for it. I started the year with a 5k Park Run, then have done 2 home workouts in front of the TV (squats, lunges, weights, tum exercises etc), 1 Nia class last night and another 5k run today. Without setting the challenge I wouldn’t have done either of the home workouts and might have skipped a run too so the challenge is working for me.
Even if you didn’t start anything on New Year’s day, have a ponder if you fancy a short term goal? Any day of the year can be your starting point. Then take the first action and you’ll already have achieved something. Oh nearly forgot, Happy New Year to you all, Sue X