????For the 12th Tip of Christmas the Couples Coach gave to me … 12 Christmases Crumbling. ???? Ok this rhyme with ‘Drummers Drumming’ is really pushing it but the tip feels like the most important one so I didn’t want to miss it out. This one is a shout out for all of you who won’t be having a Happy Christmas.
For many people repeatedly being told ‘Happy Christmas’ feels hollow and hurts because it can’t be a happy time. It may be due to remembering lost loved ones, relationship breakdowns, a really tough year, personal tragedies or serious illness etc. For some, Christmas is just a really tough time of year.
While loving the party season, I must confess to being a bit of a Bah Humbug about Christmas because I don’t like being effectively told that we all must be happy and have a great day on 25th Dec. (I feel the same about New Year’s Eve to be honest – it’s the rebel in me!). It’s no different to saying you must be happy & celebrate on the 3rd Tuesday in February & our lives & emotions don’t work like that. It seems a little false and too many people have to put on a brave face and go through the motions. And faking that you’re enjoying yourself is exhausting while, at the same time, you don’t want to put a downer on everyone else’s day.
It’s ok to cry at Christmas. It’s ok to have whatever emotion is there for you. Emotions are never ‘wrong’, they are just a signal for what’s going on in your life. Sometimes a signal for what needs to change. Sometimes a reminder of how much you loved someone.
If you’re not in a great place, and Christmas is hard for you, then my wish is that it can be as bearable as possible. It can help to try to look for and find small pockets of joy with your friends & families or the World around us. It might be focusing on that warm cup of tea. Or the squirrel bouncing along the garden fence. Or the friends & family around you. Or memories of previous Christmases that you shared with those you’ve lost. Just try to look for those small windows of lightness & it can help you through. Let’s all try and show a little more kindness to those who need it the most. And remember it’s definitely not a good time of year for making big decisions.
I wish you all the best that your Christmases possibly can be. Thank you for reading my posts this year & I hope you’ve found the odd one helpful. Pls like / share. With gratitude, Sue X