The importance of relationship skills in the home. The scenario: Millie (7) was a bit unsure about her homework so asked me & I answered. George (9) then started to tell her how to do it. Millie tried to shut him up, saying ‘it’s not like that’. George kept going. Millie yelled at him. George got upset. But what was going on from a Relationship perspective? Well George was trying to be helpful but he did it in an unskilled way by giving unsolicited advice (as so many adults do all the time, particularly to their partners). In doing so, Millie effectively felt that he was criticising her or made her feel stupid / inferior (a natural reaction but often not verbalised, again same with adults). She tried to get him to stop but again, in an unskilled way (a simple request would have been clearer). Millie felt threatened when he continued and her limbic system kicked in causing stress hormones to flood her body and she reacted with pure emotion (as we all do when in a triggered state), causing a chain reaction of emotional response from George. The lessons: don’t give unsolicited advice, give clear requests for what you want, recognise when you are triggered and calm yourself. Easy relationship skills that make a World of difference. Please share / like.