I’ve had a niggle since Christmas that we didn’t quite finish off the menopause series properly. Today I want to redress that and fill in the missing piece. I also want to include a brilliant, and very relevant, article by a lovely friend of mine.
So what is this niggle? I originally wanted to help raise awareness of the many aspects of physical and mental health that could be related to the peri-menopause, and then add some useful resources at the end. However I’m left with a niggle that it might feel we are at war with our bodies during the perimenopause. It is so easy for women to slip into feeling old, fat and grumpy during this stage. Focusing on every new wrinkle, ache, memory lapse etc can in turn contribute to low mood and low self-esteem, and none of that is helpful. Let’s try another perspective. What’s GREAT about going through the menopause? Yep, stay with me, we’re going to find the GREAT.
How about the fact that those stroppy mood swings can help some women to finally have boundaries in their life, and make it clear to all around them what they are not prepared to tolerate anymore? Women who have had doormat or people-pleaser tendencies suddenly have enough and start roaring! And that is a brilliant thing.
Another bonus of menopause is how the physical symptoms can encourage many women to look after their bodies more. To eat healthier, drink less, ditch the sugar, lose excess weight, rest more, get more sleep or start exercising. They all help to minimise some of the less pleasant symptoms and at the same time will benefit us in many other ways, lowering our disease risk, bringing in more energy and joy. I feel the perimenopause can be a wake up call and a reminder that our bodies needs some love.
Or how about women recognising that their mental health needs some work and they consciously start to put themselves first more and do things that bring them joy? A new dance class or creative outlet. Or perhaps a push to take up yoga or mindfulness to help to relax. Or perhaps low moods give some ladies a push to seek professional help for buried pain that needs releasing. All brilliant.
A general lack of tolerance may also point to the need to shed some people from your life. Perhaps friends that you have outgrown and no longer feel warm and supportive? Maybe a close relationship needs to evolve and grow? In turn you might find yourself bonding with new friends and growing stronger connections with girlfriends. The menopause seems to accelerate and strengthen emotions and give you the oomph to make changes in your life.
These are just a few possibilities off the top of my head and I’ve no doubt there are many more.
It can also be a time to really tune into our bodies. And for many of us this can feel hard to do, which is where my lovely friend’s article is perfect. I met Cate Mackenzie, the Love Coach, a few years ago when we both attended the same course. It was a beautiful moment when The Couples Coach met The Love Coach! And we’ve been friends ever since.
Now Cate literally radiates when you meet her and, among many other talents, she teaches people how to flirt. It’s not flirting as you may think of it – to pick up a random bloke in a bar. As Cate says ‘Flirting is when you follow your pleasure and your sensuality, tuning into your body and your five senses, so that you can become your authentic bold, vital, yet loving, self’. Fancy some of that? I know I do. This is about rediscovering your feminine and sensual self and is perfect if you are feeling menopausal / old / fat / tired! Have a read and I’d love to hear what you think – https://www.psychologies.co.uk/how-master-art-flirting. Cate’s also doing a Facebook live event at 6pm today on the psychologies page so hop on over there if you fancy tuning in.
There we have it – the peri-menopause as a time to strengthen your boundaries, tune into your body and give it some love, rediscover your sensuality, find what brings you joy, indulge your creative side and step into more self-care. Woo Hoo, thumbs up for the menopause! Please like / comment / share and enjoy flirting with life. Sue XX