Control the controllables and forget about everything else.

Firstly thank you very much for all of your likes/comments/messages/well wishes, both on and offline, on the news of my Dad’s cancer diagnosis, after my last post. Dad reads my page and really appreciated all the good will (he joined Facebook at the age of 74 just to be my ‘friend’!). You are a lovely bunch. And a warm welcome to new followers. This page is my ramblings based on my experiences as a life coach, couples coach, mum, wife and 47 year old woman. My hope is that it helps people to have an easier or more fulfilled life. No promotions ever. I ask readers to like/comment/share (obviously only if you actually like a post, not if it’s crap!!) as then the posts appear in more newsfeeds and reach more people – that’s how Facebook business pages work. And totally fine if you prefer not to. And if you have any topics you’d like my thoughts on just let me know in message, comments or in person and I’ll see what I can rustle up. Anyway onto today.

Recently I’ve had this theme of ‘Acceptance’ and for no apparent reason the Serenity Prayer popped into my mind. I first came across it when Sinead O’Connor had it at the start of her hit ‘Feel so different’. It didn’t mean as much to me then but actually the words are spot on as a way to live our lives. Don’t let the word ‘God’ put you off, just think of it as Universe, Higher Spirit, Divine, Angels, Unicorns etc .. whatever works for you. Originally written by an American Theologian Reinhold Niebuhr according to Wikipedia. Here it is:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. 

You can interpret it however you like but for me it’s as simple as: Figure out what I can influence / control. If I can’t change something, quit stressing about it – what will be will be. However, if I can change something then get on with it and that might take courage & speaking up or jumping into the unknown. And the wisdom to step back and figure out what I can or can’t change. 

I have often asked clients, who are overwhelmed or anxious, to get a sheet of A4 paper and draw a line down the middle. On one side write what they can control or influence. On the other side write what is out of their control. Some examples:

* We can’t control how other people act or treat us. We can choose how to respond, whether we allow it to continue or maybe whether to still be in touch with that person. 

* We can’t control how our children get on with their peers. We can choose to support them, guide them and let the school know if they need help. 

* We can’t control falling over a tree root and twisting an ankle (is she still harping on about that? It would appear so!). We can control doing the right exercise / rest to help it to heal. 

* We can’t control the weather. We can choose to take a brolly with us so that if it rains it won’t ruin our day. 

There are lots of examples in every day life. If something is bothering you at the moment perhaps ask yourself, is this something I can change or influence? If so be brave and don’t allow it to continue. If not see if there is another way to view it or to be with it. Oh and I wish you all big brains to figure out the difference! Please like/share. Sue X