Well, there I was having a 2.30am peri-menopausal nighttime wakening last night and, while I couldn’t get back to sleep, I had a thought for a blog that wanted to be written. So here I am at 7am on a Saturday morning. I am proper dedicated.
Maya Angelou famously said:
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
It’s a great reminder as we are in the festive bonkers-ness that it’s not about the gifts, it’s about the meaning behind those gifts, words or actions. That meaning is itself the gift and I’ve been really noticing the impact of this over the last couple of weeks. A few examples to show how easy (& incredibly cheap!) It can be.
1. My 12 year old son got a lovely gift of words in a Christmas card from a friend which had an impact on, not just him, but the rest of the family too.
“Thank you for always being nice to me and for showing people that being nice, and positive, is easy, and it makes a difference if just one person is kind.”
A heart-melting moment for us all. And I love that another 12 year old has the maturity to write those words and to recognise the good in others. A beautiful gift. (And if you are a parent at the same school I would appreciate your discretion at not mentioning this to your child – let’s not turn a lovely thing into an opportunity for teasing!).
2. A group of 6 of us regularly meet for coffee and one of the group spent many hours making individual kimonos for each of us. They were all beautifully wrapped and a huge amount of thought and time had gone into each one. It was a very special moment as we were all, totally unexpectedly, presented with the beautifully wrapped packages. The real gift was knowing how much thought and effort had gone into them and we all felt special.
3. I wrote an email to the teacher who runs a singing club for my 10 year old to thank her for the impact she has had. I don’t think she would otherwise have had any idea of how terrified my daughter was of singing solo in front of others. But over the course of this term, with gentle encouragement, and creating a lovely safe atmosphere, the teacher has helped Millie to overcome her fears and she has regularly sang mini solo parts in the club, and has now signed up to have singing lessons. That teacher’s impact could well last for a lifetime. And I got a lovely email back saying how much she had loved my email.
4. I got voted for an award!!! I’ve never had an award before but it was the loveliest award to get as it was from members of my running club and I was voted the ‘Run Fit Mum Personality of the Year’. I am CHUFFED to bits – not least because there are many very deserving personalities in the group.
5. I don’t normally send Christmas cards but I sent one to my Auntie as I’m conscious it’s her first Christmas since my lovely Uncle died a short while ago and I have been thinking of her lots. I just wanted to let her know and she sent me a lovely message letting me know she appreciated it.
6. The Husband and I have been invited to two Christmas Drinks events tonight. Invites are themselves gifts as they are really saying ‘we like you’, ‘we’d like to hang out with you’. It’s a pity they are on the same night but, armed with determination and head torches and wellies, we will be attending both.
7. A reader of this blog page took the time to send me a message yesterday to say thank you for the series I wrote on menopause symptoms last year and how it helped her to recognise what was going on. I was delighted to hear that my words had helped someone.
I could go on but my daughter wants her morning cuddle (another way of saying ‘you matter’) so I’ll stop, but hopefully it’s given some ideas of how to really give your loved ones gifts this Christmas. Tell people what you appreciate about them, invite them over to show you want to spend time with them, let them know you’re thinking about them and make them FEEL special. They’ll remember it for a lot longer than something you grabbed in the last minute shopping spree. Have a wonderful Christmas people, take deep breaths or go for a walk when you need to, and see you on the other side. Please like/share. Sue X
EDIT: Can’t believe I forgot number 8:
The drunk bloke in a pub last week who told the Husband that he was punching well above his weight and should spend at least £500 on me for Christmas ????????????