Day 4 of top tips to help with any emotional turmoil you are feeling right now.
Ok so if the other tips this week haven’t worked, and you are still feeling stuck in a gloomy place, it’s a sign that you may need to do some further emotional processing before you can move on.
In ‘normal times’ (remember those?!), if you have a problem it helps to discuss it with a friend. However what’s happening at the moment is many people are stuck in the same gloomy, fearful place. So, as we discuss Brexit with our friends, we can end up pulling one another down further and it’s not helpful. I overheard two friends greet one another on Monday with ‘it’s awful isn’t it?’ – not a traditional greeting I think we can all agree. Similarly social media can have the same effect and negativity spreads. How can we process strong emotions without another person? (Again, this applies to any problem in your life).
I highly recommend writing it down. Grab some paper and write, knowing that you will throw it away afterwards and you can really pour out all of your feelings. Writing seems to be far more effective than just thinking about the same questions as our thoughts tend to keep whirring round. And it’s not just about writing the feelings down. You can also question what is factually true and write down actions for yourself too. Feeling powerless creates stress and anxiety so coming up with practical steps can really help. Here’s some questions to get you going:
How am I feeling right now? What are all of my emotions?
What is making me feel each of these emotions? (Go into plenty of detail of everything you are worried about, even the small crazy thoughts at 3am!)
Are the things I’m upset about happening right now? If not, how likely are these things to happen? What’s the evidence?
Do these things really affect me or am I picking up other people’s worries? (We can still choose to take action, even if not directly affected).
If each worry did happen, what could I do? Writing down a clear action point can really help to relieve anxiety.
What can I do right now? Feeling empowered and taking action can counter feelings of being a victim / I didn’t choose this etc.
What’s good about what is happening? There is pretty much always a positive side to any situation.
How can I lift my spirits?
I’ll run through an example to show how it can work. Let’s take the increase in hate crimes that is happening. My emotions: I feel sickened and angry about it. It’s against everything I believe in and I am hugely disappointed that my country is far more racist than I realised. Does it affect me? Although I’m not directly affected personally I want to live in a tolerant society where people are not in fear. What can I do? I can wear the safety pin when I’m out. I can be extra friendly to strangers and spread good vibes. I can speak up if I witness racist behaviours, film it on my phone, offer my seat to anyone who needs to move, campaign my MP to do more, recognise some of my European friends might need to feel welcome right now etc etc. What’s actually good about what’s happening? The racism hasn’t just been created in the last week – it was there all along and now we can see it and witness it and stop pretending we are a really tolerant and integrated society. We can therefore take actions to hopefully help change attitudes in the longer term. How can I lift my spirits? Having fun with friends, practicing gratitude, drinking Gin, laughing with my kids, focusing on simple pleasures etc.
None of us are powerless but we can become powerless when we get stuck in gloom. You might as well choose to be positive and resourceful. Pls like / share incase it helps others. Sue X