It’s a question I often like to ask if myself or clients or my kids or friends are struggling over a decision. It often feels like there can be far too much looking before leaping. We can invent so many crappy scenarios, & what ifs, in our heads that we need everything to feel perfect and almost have a guaranteed outcome of success, before we take the plunge.
And yet few things are ever a total disaster. We might make the ‘wrong’ decision but inevitably there are useful, or even wonderful, aspects or great learning that come from that ‘wrong’ decision.
A real example I heard recently was a previous client moving to a new city for a brilliant-sounding new job. The job turned out to be a disaster but her partner ended up with a great role, it got them to actually move house, which they had been toying with for a long time, they love where they are living and it propelled her to set up a business. The only downside was enduring a crappy job for 6 months and that was far outweighed by the upsides.
Or last weekend I went on a retreat. Now it turns out that I’m not a retreat sort of person – nothing wrong with the retreat itself, but just not right for me. And so I didn’t fully enjoy it but look at the upside. I have a new found appreciation for my normal life as I it showed how relaxed, spacious and enjoyable it is … some of the aspects people look for in a retreat. Lucky me indeed. I also had a connecting, shared experience with a lovely friend, there was also plenty of learning and some new self-awareness. Well worth it.
Or my kids were on stage this week in a big production at their school. Before the opening night they were understandably a little nervous. We talked about what was the worst that could happen? My son’s reply was his very large dungarees costume falling down, as it apparently did in rehearsal … and if it happened during the ‘Make them laugh’ number, it could only add to the fun! LOL. (Sadly they stayed up).
Or someone wanting to start a new hobby, activity or join a group. They keep putting it off, thinking they don’t have time, or feeling shy, or assuming they’ll be the worst. And in doing so they keep looking from the sidelines and missing out. What’s the worst that could happen? They don’t enjoy it or realise it’s not for them .. not really a big deal as they can just decide to not go again.
It’s so easy to do, to talk ourselves out of the things we long to do or the bold moves we wish we could make. There isn’t ever any certainty though. Some of my life decisions have been questionable but there have always been positive consequences from them. My first career choice was to be an Actuary (not everyone has heard of it but basically a Finance professional). It seemed a good idea but the reality is I didn’t enjoy Actuarial work – it doesn’t suit my personality at all. However from that seemingly dodgy decision I moved to Tunbridge Wells, met loads of brilliant friends who I had a great social life with, I progressed quickly passing the exams and being promoted, I had enough money to go on fun holidays and travel, I met my Husband who is also an Actuary etc etc. Was I ever suited to being an Actuary? No, not really but it’s not a decision I regret at all.
Is being a Mum what I thought it might be? Nope.
Did I know what moving out of London would be like before doing it? Nope.
I could go on but it is Friday and I’m sure you have far more interesting things to do.
Today is a reminder to step in, take the plunge, follow that urge, be bold. Ask yourself what is the worst that can happen? Often it really isn’t that bad and the positives can come from unlikely places. Pls like / comment / share. Sue X