Why you need to be arsed to do self-care!

Google images of self-care and you get lots of bubble baths, beautiful cups of coffee in posh china, wonderful vistas etc. All very irritating. Why is that irritating? Because self-care is far more than a fancy facial and a bit of time out from daily life. Self-care can mean many things and sometimes it’s a real effort to do it, and you actually have to be arsed to look after yourself. It’s also irritating because I thought I might add an image but they were all too full of beautiful people having beautiful lives and that is not what this blog aims to be about, so you can have some before and after pictures of my recent declutter instead!

Self-care can mean doing your accounts monthly so you don’t give yourself a hard job at the end of the year. It can mean doing those exercises that the physio gave you even though they are hard or boring. Self-care can mean having the tricky conversation or saying no when you feel you ‘should’ say yes. It can even mean getting the piles of laundry sorted so that you can sleep in sweet smelling bedding. And yes it can mean spending a few tedious hours having a major declutter so that you can find the clothes you want to wear and your drawers shut properly! 

However, even though I would generally consider myself a self-care specialist and I am always harping on about it on here, with friends, with clients etc, I still don’t always get it right myself. 

I’m just back from a skiing holiday and I’m a bit broken, nursing a couple of fairly minor but rather painful injuries and I got them because I didn’t practice self-care. I couldn’t be arsed in fact. 

We had a long drive to get to the Alps and rushed out onto the slopes on arrival. My rented skis felt weird and did weird, unexpected things. I knew they weren’t right for me and I wanted to take them back and change them. Besides they were a poo brown colour and that is not my sort of colour – see above colourful image! 

But I couldn’t be arsed. I was tired from the journey, we needed to unpack, help the kids get settled, cook dinner, get organised etc. So I convinced myself that they would be ok and watched a few videos on skiing tips assuming it was just my technique that had somehow gone wrong, even though it’s been good enough for years. 

Next day I had a major high speed wipe-out for no obvious reason – one minute flying along, the next sliding along the floor and hurting. And I still didn’t change the skis. Again, I couldn’t be arsed. I was tired and in pain and wanted to chill out so convinced myself I had probably got used to the skis and ‘better the devil you know’ etc. Also I didn’t want to ask the Husband to help me carry them to the rental shop. So I kept skiing on them and then had another high speed wipe-out two days later, again with no obvious reason and more painful injuries. After that I gave up and asked the Husband to help me get them changed. My replacement skis were 4cm smaller, far lighter, turned when I wanted them to, and I didn’t have any issues at all with them. They were also a lovely green colour! 

But the impact of me not being arsed earlier in the week was huge. Not only was I in pain (still am annoyingly), that in turn meant I wasn’t my usual self. It’s hard to be as jolly when you are feeling sore and wincing periodically. In addition I was no longer able to carry my skis, put my ski boots on without help, do many chores in our apartment etc. In short it had a big impact on my family and all of them have a lower satisfaction score for the holiday, due to me being hurt. A reminder of how taking the time, and yes, being arsed, to do self-care impacts not just ourselves but everyone around us too. There’s often a belief that self-care is ‘selfish’ or ‘indulgent’ and negatively impacts on others but pretty much always the opposite is true. 

So there you go. Please learn from my mistakes and be arsed to do the hard stuff around self-care. Forget the bubble bath and get your admin sorted or book that GP appointment. Please like / comment / share incase it helps others. Thanks for reading, Sue X

Posted in: Uncategorised