Sorry, sorry, sorry – I’ve completely neglected you my faithful Couples Coach followers over the last couple of weeks. I’m holding my hands up.
First I was off on my skiing holiday (had a marvellous time) and now I’ve done that classic thing that happens in relationships when one partner gets a new hobby or job. (In my case I started a shiny new Facebook page for my other passion in life which is to encourage people to eat lots of fruit & veg for good health and vitality – www.facebook.com/greensginjoy, if you fancy a follow).
But back to relationships and what happens when a new interest comes along? One partner can become so immersed in it and absorbed by it that they neglect their partner (guilty). If that pattern is happening in your relationship, regardless of who has the new interest, then it’s more important than ever to build in regular connection time. Otherwise the relationship can quickly drift, become distant and resentments build up. Any relationship needs good quality connection time. What do I mean by good quality?
For example, the Husband and I already have two hobbies we go to together each week – Yoga and a Ballroom & Latin dance class. That might sound like plenty but we noticed that while we love both of them, neither are good for actually talking, connecting and catching up with one another. Hence we have a 3rd sitter this week so that we can go out for a proper date night on Saturday. Oh and there’s a school quiz night on Friday so that’s a 4th sitter. 4 nights out together in one week, we are definitely keeping the local babysitters in employment! But date nights don’t have to cost money. It can be a designated night in, not out, where you both agree that the TV isn’t on and the gadgets are not picked up. Perhaps you eat dinner together? Or do board games? Or listen to music? Whatever works for you both but provides an opportunity for chat & connection. Pls like/share. Sue X
Updated Mar 1, 2017, 9:34 AM