Today’s topic is about major disruptors in relationships. It’s come about as I was asked to write some top tips for couples expecting their first child. And let’s face it, not wanting to put anyone off, but having a baby is like a bomb going off in a relationship!! And there are other major disruptors that can have a similar impact:
– an elderly parent dying
– redundancy or major work stress
– serious or long term illness of any family member
– financial loss
– your teen going off the rails
– your child being bullied
– an affair ..
And many more. And any of these can put huge strain on a relationship. Often our partner will react to the major disruptor in ways that we wouldn’t have expected or are struggling to understand. For example, grief can hit in many different ways – for some it’s a very obvious affair but for others the grief is internal and harder to be aware of. What can a couple do?
Well, a few things to help you through tough times:
1. Keep talking, as much as you can. Make time in your lives to connect. Allow room for your partner to express how he/she feels & don’t make their experience wrong, even if yours is very different.
2. Find small ways to bring enjoyment, kindness or light relief
3. Recognise that you probably both want the same thing eg to help your teenager, even if you have different approaches. Try to find the common ground.
4. Don’t be shy about seeking outside support from friends, family or professionals. We’re all Human, we all struggle and we all need a helping hand.
5. Sometimes you just have to let Time do its magical work. If that’s the case look for ways to support yourself during the tough time.
Be kind to yourself and your loved ones and you can’t go far wrong, no matter what life throws at you. Pls like / share. Sue x